Melbourne's Cold Weather

Why did I come to Australia you may ask if all I have done since arriving is whinge?

The answer, of course, is the change in climate. Living in England for the first 28 years of my life I became sick and tired of the constant chilly North winds and wet days! - I looked sick. I appeared malnourished and pale and was always suffering some cold related ailment.

"Emigrate to Australia", I said to myself, "and experience the year 'round warmth of a tropical climate!....mmmmmmh!"

"But where should I go?", I asked myself.....

After looking through all of the readily available tourism brochures I decided to settle in sunny Melbourne. The white sandy beaches of 'St Kilda' and the clear blue seas and topless, bronzed bathing beauties, of Geelong pictured in the brochures sealed my decision! It was off to Melbourne for me!......

Now what do I find?

I'll tell you what I find........

Freezing cold f**king weather! - Icy winds from the South now, and about twice as many rainy days as sunny! - You can't see any 'Bathing beauties" 'cos in Melbourne everyone is rugged up in long black coats with matching black hats, scarves and gloves!!! -

To drive to the beach to see the white sandy beaches just doesn't happen! You get there, open your car door and immediately slam it shut again because of the blustering squalls! The blue seas are just a churning muddy brown, frothing from the constant agitation caused by these strong antartic like winds and the relentless pounding of the rain!

Today the temperature has hovered around a sweltering 9 degrees celcius, which, when coupled with the 'wind chill factor' of those fresh winds blowing in from the bay, actually feels like 4.....
yes...4 degrees!!!!

I had ice on my car windscreen today, my central heating bill is through the roof and everyone in my family has been at home over the last two weeks with cases of the damn flu!! My shorts and t-shirts are rotting in the back of my wardrobe and my bones ache from the constant cold when I am out of the house.

Melbourne's weather sucks the big one!

Good day Sir!

Monster Munch - Monsterous Price!!

What's the go with the price of 'Monster Munch' over here in Australia?

First of all what are 'Monster Munch'? you may ask!

They are advertised as "The Monstrously big snacks that kids can't wait to get their paws on!"

They are a corn based light snack product which come in 'Quote' - "A feast of frightening flavours?".

The flavours include: "Flamin' Hot", "Roast Beef" and, my personal favourite, "Pickled Onion".

They were one of my favourite snacks when I lived in England and I got rather excited the other day when an acquaintance notified me of the fact that they are obtainable from a shop here in Melbourne!

Well I just had to have some so I made a special effort on the weekend and caught public transport in to the city centre. I located the shop and went in to make my purchase. My excitment soon turned to horror when I was informed of the price!! however.

They wanted $2.00 for one 34g pack!!

This equates to 82 pence in English money which I believe to be extortionate!! -

To add insult to injury some unspeakable person had purchased the entire box!!

I cannot believe that this price can be justified by claiming excessive shipping or handling costs. Just because they have to come from the other side of the world these people believe that they can just 'up' the price to what ever they see fit!

They must think that us 'Poms' are stupid or something and so therefore I refused to buy a packet and preffered to make a stand for the 'white folk' of the world rather than be ripped off by these half-witted in bred freaks!!

GOOD DAY SIR !